LearnJazzPiano.com archives: Forks

7 -- 03/01/2004, 12:35:30 -- #1972

Whacky said... (10/25/2002 at 06:35 PT) Occasionally I'll find myself at a dinner where the salad and dinner fork are identical. I know the salad is supposed to be the one on the outside, but if they're exactly the same, how can I know for sure? This really bothers me as I would hate to accidentally use the wrong fork! Which one would Charlie Parker have used? Thank you! Whacky

7 -- 03/01/2004, 12:39:41 -- #1973

Dearest Whacky, First let me apologize for not answering your question sooner, but Auntie has been having a lot of fun playing with some really big pianists lately and just hasn't had time. While Auntie tries to answer every question as truthfully as she can, it annoys Auntie when people write me with obviously bogus situations. A lowlife like you would NEVER be invited to anything even faintly resembling a formal dinner, and you usually eat directly from the plate. The second fork is placed there to use as a defensive weapon should any of the psychos and trailer trash that you hang out with try to steal some food from your plate. Even among the homeless it is considered extremely poor etiquette to stab your fellow diners with a knife, however fork marks usually go away within a week. As regards your question about Charlie Parker, his table manners were no better than yours will ever be. Auntie

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