| LearnJazzPiano.com archives: crazy gig experiences | |
| james3 -- 03/18/2007, 12:48:45 -- #33871 | |
| Hey everybody..this should be a fun post. Let's here some of your craziest/ridiculous gig experiences. I'll start. Bar owner tells the bandleader, in the middle of the song, I might add, that the piano (which is a Yamaha digital) is out of tune. I'm playing a reggae tune with only 2 chords involved the whole time....hmm..if you say so sir. I'll make sure to take it in the shop right away to get it retuned. Needless to say we weren't asked back when I didn't apologize profusely for the intonation on my digital instrument. What do y'all think of that? James | |
| pringe -- 03/18/2007, 13:39:28 -- #33871 | |
| Hmm - maybe he was having a slightly ironic joke (unfortunately ) at your expense? ;) | |
| james3 -- 03/18/2007, 16:54:56 -- #33871 | |
| lol..I thought that too but then he started playing air guitar when the violin player started soloing. Granted the guy was using a wah pedal on his fiddle but still... the owner didn't really seem to be paying the closest attention to things. | |
| casparus -- 03/18/2007, 21:22:06 -- #33871 | |
| Did a christmas office party gig. Started with one guy wanting to hear Elvis--then I was supposed to play Christmas carols..and then FAST Chrsitmas carols..and then just FAST songs..and then just Jerry Lee Lewis songs..this all took place within 3 minutes..then a guy told everyone he would sing a Newfie song..I tried to accompany him, and he had absolutely no sense of timing;pitch. I just stood there and let him sing a cappella..he knocked over my glass of coke all over the keys..when I mopped up the coke some babe decided to sit down and play "Heart and Soul" which garnered by far the greatest applause of the gig. Then one of the miserable people I have encountered came up to me--as I watched--and snarled I should be playing the "Beatles or something". When the piano was finally free, I began a rousing rendition of "She Loves You" ( thinking they still wanted fast songs )..and he snarled loudly "NOOO! --Hey Jude or Let It Be, don't you know ANYTHING??" The 'convenor' quietly came up to me( after I ignored the request for Hey Jude )and said I could go if I wanted, and I still would be paid--and I did. | |
| james3 -- 03/18/2007, 21:46:32 -- #33871 | |
| wow... that's a tough one. That sounds horrible. Thank goodness you were still paid! | |
| hepcatmonk -- 03/19/2007, 00:33:34 -- #33871 | |
| I was playing a real lame bar gig in a pickup band backing a singer. We played the first set of tunes, then the leader (singer) opened the floor for people to come up. The backup band was just piano and bass. A guy walks in with a lunch pail and sets it down on the stage, and opens it up, revealing about 20 harmonicas. I start getting skeptical. The singer said "Let's do something bluesy!"...Yes...this gig was THAT lame. So another vocalist was sitting in as well...she suggested Summertime. "Alright," I asked the harmonica player, "which key is best for you?" "Any you want, I've got a lot of harmonicas," he responded. "D minor okay?" "You've got it." Okay, so we start the tune. Singers sing the head, the piano solo begins. I play for about 6 bars....and then suddenly the most ridiculous sound imaginable starts happening. "Holy sh*t," I think to myself, "is he using the diminished scale or something?" I have no idea what this guy is doing...it sounds awful and ridiculous. The bass player, a seasoned pro who just moved to town from LA is just giving me the most incredulous looks. Who knows what the hell key the harmonica player is playing in, but he takes about 6 choruses on Summertime at a moderate tempo. At one point the singers thought it would be "cool" or "jazzy" to improvise some vocal backgrounds. I am just sitting here, feeling awful. Ever felt ashamed to be on the bandstand? That's how it was that night. So finally, the harmonica player lets up and the out-head begins. Singers sing the outhead, with really bizarre atonal riffing from the harmonica player throughout. After that, the bass player turns to him and says, "Man, what the f**k were you doing man, that sounded absolutely ridiculous." He announced, "Man, I was using my Db major harmonica." "What?" I asked. "It's called playing off the mixolydian," he said. "You use the major scale a whole step down from the minor key." "That's C MAJOR, not C# major." At this point the guy just ignored me incredulously. The singer then announced he would be playing with us for the rest of the set. "Great," I think. -- "What's the next tune," I asked. Oh great. My One and Only Love. A ballad. This has PLENTY of room for a disaster. "In C major, the singer requested." "Uh-oh," the harmonica player announced, "I don't have my C major harmonica." "Okay, now before you pull out your B Major harmonica," I said with a feeling of impending dread, "do you have a harmonica in a minor?" "Yeah, I do," he says. "Well, use it. It'll work." "Really? How?" he asked. "Just try it, trust me." So, we start playing, and the harmonica solo begins after the head. And actually, I mean, this doesn't sound great, but we're all playing in the same key. Even though the whole playing situation is beyond lame, at least it's not making me worry we're going to get shot by someone at the bar tired of hearing Ives-like renditions of the American popular songbook. And then the most ridiculous thing happened. It's sounding just fine -- and then, I see him shake his head, go down, put down the a minor harmonica and pick up -- oh god -- it must have been the F# Major harmonica or something, because at that point it became absolutely unlistenable. And yeah. That was a pretty weird gig. Bound to happen sooner or later. H M | |
| dalty52 -- 03/19/2007, 04:14:32 -- #33871 | |
| LOL, wow. That is awesome. Reminds of the gig I had one time where a singer sat in and changed keys every 8 bars or so. The fun thing was.........after this started happening, we started to just change keys with him. LOL........it was hilarious. I actually had a gig where I was playing solo piano in a restaurant/bar. The customers really loved it....but, for some reason, the owner had issues. After the first day of playing, he came up to me and says...."yeah, that was great......next time, maybe you could play a few more Sinatra tunes." I was like......"ok" (a little annoyed because 1. The customers had loved the set and 2. I DID play a decent amount of Sinatra tunes). So, the next gig......I decided to experiment.........I played the whole set...........Sinatra tunes. Either tunes he had made famous, or at least recorded. All night..........Sinatra. And, wouldn't you know it...........at the end of the gig........he said the same thing to me! LOL. Now, when I play those kind of gigs, I don't really mess with the melodies, so it's not like I was making it obscure or something. I finally realized that he couldn't HEAR these melodies unless a vocalist was singing them.(he kept alluding to me making it sound like this other guy that had played there who sings while he plays) I really couldn't win in that situation, so, I fired him(meaning.......he actually called me again for a gig and I said "no, thanks"). | |
| JHMurray -- 03/19/2007, 09:29:26 -- #33871 | |
| I started a thread here once LONG ago on weirdest gigs, but it didn't get much response. I've had two gigs that stand out in my mind as the most unlikely locations for jazz gigs: 1) a duo in the sweater section in Mervin's dep't store, and 2) a quartet at a dinosaur museum in Fruita, Colorado (no, nobody played the 'bone). Dalty, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that has happened to. But more often it has been customers who'd request a tune right after I had just finished playing it, even when I know I played it pretty straight. | |
| Whacky -- 03/19/2007, 11:46:48 -- #33871 | |
| We had a singer ask to sit in and do "It Had To Be You". So he sings: It had to be you....it had to be you...it had to be you...it had to be you...it had to be you...it had to be you...it had to be you...it had to be you...it had to be you...it had to be you...etc... I am NOT kidding - it was actually funny - he was laughing too... | |
| Whacky -- 03/19/2007, 11:50:26 -- #33871 | |
| I was playing at a Bar Mitzvah and the client had a guest vocalist coming to grace our presence. (To put this into perspective I live in the suburb of St. Louis) This babe showup with huge hair, a book of charts and says, "Hi, I'm a singer from LA" I couldn't resist. I said, "Hi, I'm a piano player from Manchester" heh heh | |
| Whacky -- 03/19/2007, 11:54:21 -- #33871 | |
| This is fun - I have another (and probably many more as I sit here thinking about it) I'm playing solo piano in the middle of an upscale dining room and this very elogantly dressed lady in her mid 30s comes up and sits on the piano bench with me while I'm playing to make a request. She was drunk out of her mind, and before her request could come ouy of her mouth, she cleared the way with a very loud and smelly burp - right in my face | |
| Whacky -- 03/19/2007, 11:59:28 -- #33871 | |
| I was doing a duo in a bar and this guy is sitting right in front of us bobbing his head, nodding off with a drunken grin. On the break I wen over to say hello and he handed me a $100 bill. I said, "hey man that's a hundred...I can't take that" He said very smearingly, "No, you guys are great. I want you to have it" He apparently had just won pretty big at the casino and felt like sharing his joy. By the time the night was over he had given us $600, the bartender $400 and another customer $100. Those gigs I like:) | |
| Whacky -- 03/19/2007, 12:03:17 -- #33871 | |
| At another bar for rich drunks, this guy whips out a $100 and asks for some Gershwin. He did that a couple of more times, then he asked for "Send In The Clowns" When I started playing it he yells out in a very slurred way, barely getting the words out "My....daughter...ws with...Steven Sondheim...when he wrote that song!" heh heh:) | |
| Whacky -- 03/19/2007, 13:58:05 -- #33871 | |
| Back in the early days I got called to do a "demo" session for a "singer" When I got there, there was no band just a crappy spinet piano. He said he wanted to lay keyboard down first and use a click track. He then cranked up the wind-up metronome and had me read through a bunch of changes... After the session, he of course did not have the money. He would have to pay me later. A couple of weeks after that he showed up at my house with a box of fresh produce (his family runs a produce stand) and asked if I'd accept that as payment - I took the grub and chalked it up to "lesson learned" | |
| dalty52 -- 03/19/2007, 16:49:17 -- #33871 | |
| LOL........funny thing............the one where we kept changing keys all of the time to go with the singer......that was in Clayton. Maybe it was the "It Had to Be You" person. In college, sometimes my buddies and I would switch instruments at really lame gigs. Like, we couldn't really play the instruments we switched to..........but, we could get by enough to make the song sound ok. Noone really noticed the difference. Kind of an immature college thing to do......but, it was sure fun after we'd had a few :o) | |
| jwv76 -- 03/19/2007, 17:41:55 -- #33871 | |
| re:switching instruments... We used to do that in my junior high band class every time we had a substitute teacher. Looking back I genuinely feel sorry for those poor subs, but it seemed hilarious at the time... | |
| Whacky -- 03/19/2007, 18:14:50 -- #33871 | |
| Back in the 70s, this guitar player/comedian friend of mine coaxed me into playing some wedding reception gigs at churs halls and VWF posts for 50 bucks and cardboard pitchers of beer:) He would just get whomever he could tp play with us. Anyway we would play the Lichtenstiene (sp??) Polka and put an extra beat at the end of every chorus and laugh our butts of at the dancers having to reset their footing (very unprofessional mind you) | |
| Whacky -- 03/19/2007, 18:16:09 -- #33871 | |
| yeah Dalty...something about playing gigs in Stl - heh heh - ya might as well laugh and have a good time | |
| CynBad -- 03/20/2007, 09:04:48 -- #33871 | |
| Switching instruments in Jr. High must have been a national phenomenon! We did it too... "re:switching instruments... We used to do that in my junior high band class every time we had a substitute teacher. Looking back I genuinely feel sorry for those poor subs, but it seemed hilarious at the time... " | |
| paulF99 -- 03/20/2007, 10:15:39 -- #33871 | |
| I'm only an amateur player, but I am in the house band at a regular jazz jam session held at a local pub. People pay to get in, and can choose a tune and come up and play with the band, either using their own instrument, or take over one in the band. Needless to say, most of the musical guests are sax players, although we have had a bit of everything: drummers, bass, guitar, keyboard, trumpet, fiddles, banjoes, plus singers etc. The standard can be best described as "mixed", with some major road-wrecks alongside some excellent performances. It's all good experience for me while I'm learning. Anyway, the most memorable recent performance was when a guy came up (with a sax) and said "Do you know xxxxxxx?" (can't remember what the tune was). None of the band knew it, so we turned to our Real Books and found that we all had a chart for the tune. Without hesitating, the sax player counted us in and off we all went, grinding to halt within a few seconds when the resulting cacophony alerted even the most tone-deaf of us that something was badly wrong. A quick check around the band revealed that I had a chart in C concert, the guitarist one in C#, the bass a chart in D, and who knows what the sax player was doing? Sorted it all out though, and it worked quite well in the end. Another time we had a singer, who said: "I'm going to sing you one of my own songs..." Never having seen this guy before, none of knew "his" song, of course, which produced a little anxiety among the band. He then said "I'll tell you the chords... C#m, Bm ..." "Then what?" we asked. "That's it", he replied. Very easy in the end. | |
| Whacky -- 03/20/2007, 12:13:17 -- #33871 | |
| There's a band leader here in town who had a hit single in the 60s and has been living off his celebrity status for over 40 years now (shall remain nameless let' call him) Anyway, he has a 7 or 8 piece horn band (sometimes extra horns) and several other bands he books in addition to his own. Sometimes he double books himself and hires another band similar to his to "be him" so he can be two places in the same evening. Occasionally I would find myself on one of those gigs. One evening I was doing one of those at a very high brow country club. We had taken a break and were making our way back to the bandstand and from the tables we heard "which one of you is Bob?" heh heh - we all just kept walking as if we hadn't heard. Of course the temptation is to reply "I am. What the F*** do you want?" | |
| Whacky -- 03/20/2007, 12:27:29 -- #33871 | |
| Okay - I'm on another roll (I hope you're enjoying these) Back in the 70s (again) I was a show/rehersal/audition pianist for Six Flags. Part of my job was to go on the audition tours and play for the people who audtioned (a lot of sight reading) I always had to read crazy things but this one stuck out in my mind. This dude hands me one of those Choir charts thats about maybe 5 by 8 inches -SATB w/piano about 4 measures per page. The piano part is similar to a Bach two or three part invention with nothing but sixteenths in each hand going every which way. I asked the dude how quick it goes and he starts snapping around 160 BPM! Now in addition to four measures a page (8 with two facing pages) The thing would not stay open - so what I did was, play only the LH part, using my RH to both turn pages and hold them open - The music director was about rolling out of his chair laughing. At least the guy could sing....most could not :) | |
| Whacky -- 03/20/2007, 14:16:52 -- #33871 | |
| me again... So I'm playing at another high brow country club (drunk rich people do the strangest things) and this woman starts a rather strange exotic dance around me, stroking me with a lint brush whilst I'm playing...hmmm...I never did understand that one | |
| Whacky -- 03/20/2007, 14:20:54 -- #33871 | |
| I'm playing a wedding reception and all of a sudden theis group hoists this fellow above their heads - he's stiff as a board and wiggling - they walk him from the dance floor out out of the building...we thought it was some strange dance so we just kept playing - tunrs out he was having a siezure (whoops) My wife (singer with the local celeb guy) was on a gig where a guy dropped dead - needless to say the band stopped playing while they tried to revive him. Then the celeb guys says "hmm...I wonder how long we're gonna be off?" The keyboard players says, "I think the gig is over man" heh heh | |
| Jazz+ -- 03/21/2007, 00:20:34 -- #33871 | |
| LOL | |
| Whacky -- 03/21/2007, 21:02:29 -- #33871 | |
| I was telling my wife about this thread and she corrected my recollection of the dead guy story. The band leader actually said: "What should we go back with guys?" - that's even funnier! | |
| clobaton -- 03/22/2007, 07:58:55 -- #33871 | |
| I tried to tell my girlfriend about these stories, but definitely explaining the harmonica in different keys, or the realbook, or whack's stories did not make a lot of sense to a non-musician.. should I get a new girlfriend ?? LOL | |
| CynBad -- 03/22/2007, 09:12:22 -- #33871 | |
| Yes. Those mixed-relationships never work. | |
| jmkarns -- 03/22/2007, 20:44:14 -- #33871 | |
| You might add "mixolodian" chords. | |
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