LearnJazzPiano.com archives: Gigs that sucked

docz -- 10/06/2004, 01:24:03 -- #7782

Hey guys, anyone have any funny "Bad" gigs stories? I remember when I was playing in my band, we got a gig. It was to play a wedding for a norwegian celebrety. My brother got us the gig. We were 17, none of us had a drivers licence, but we were all psyked about the gig. We practiced for hours and hours. My brother called to tell me were the gig was, he said it was in our capitol, which is roughly 150 miles away, not a long drive, but we were going to get rent a cars. None  of us could drive, I talked my mother and sister into driving us. The day before the gig, the guy who was getting married called me. He wanted to know if everything was set. I told him that everything was OK, and we were looking forward to the gig. He asked us if we knew the directions to the place. Directions? I said, isn't this in Oslo? He started laughing, and replied, no this is in "Orsta". Which is 1050 miles away from were we were standing. The norwegian word for "Countryside" is "Bydga" but my brother thought he had said "Bygdø" which is a suburb of Oslo. So this little misunderstanding made a 1 hour drive into a 12 hour drive. So we packed the cars and started the trip. Once we arrived finally. We were told that we didn't need to bring a piano, since the plays had an electric piano, and we didn't need a PA because that was already there to. But when we arrived at this place in the middle of nowhere, the piano wasn't a piano, it was a Technics Organ, you know those crappy ones that sit in peoples living rooms, never beeing used. And the PA system was from 1970! and tired. But since there was no method of aquiring better equipment at this place it had to make  do. We were doing this gig on spec, because the celeb promissed us a good cover story in a magazine, we agreed to do this for free because of the good publisity. But when the gig was over, there was no reporter in sight... So we had been duped to. The gig also went horrible, imagine the sound of a band and a living room organ, playing wedding dance music. Man.. never again! :) Doc-Z

Dr. Whack -- 10/06/2004, 06:43:20 -- #7793

I got a call once from a friend who was aksed to play a gig with a slap-together group (guitar, bass drums)  He asked if I would want to play...it was only 50 bucks and out in the middle of nowhere...I hadn't seen this friend in a while  so I thought it might be a nice night out... When we got there, there was a hard-core country band playing on a stage that was literally protected by chicken wire with a trash can right in front of the stage.  Those good ol; boys would toss their long-necks into the can from their tables, using the chicken wire as a backboard... The guys I was supposed to play with knew absolutely no country music, except for maybe "For The Good Times"...this was the only time, I left the gig before we even started...I didn't even get my stuff out of my car:)

docz -- 10/06/2004, 06:58:22 -- #7796

Wov, makes me think of the blues brothers :) Doc-Z

7 -- 10/06/2004, 09:18:24 -- #7805

In the section here called the "Juice Bar" there is quite a collection of crazy gig stories. Here's a quickie: Last Sunday at the beginning of the second set, I walked over and turned off the jukebox. This big ugly guy starts  yelling at me that he put $5 in the jukebox ($5 will buy you over an hours of music). I told him quite clearly that the jukebox remembers the songs and he'll get to hear them during breaks. Suddenly he's screaming and yelling for his $5 back. How stupid can this guy be? Like I'm supposed to say to the 75 people in the audience who showed up to hear live music "Sorry folks, the concert will have to be postponed for an hour because that big mean guy likes the jukebox better than the band". Yeah, right! So the manager lady comes out and he starts screaming at her, she starts screaming at him and then the manager's boyfriend gets involved. The two of these 6'4" 275 lb guys begin to tango and  end up kicking the shit out of each other BEHIND the bar breaking bottles and getting blood everywhere. All that over five lousy bucks! Now THAT'S entertainment!

LarryC -- 10/06/2004, 09:46:40 -- #7809

Our old singer showed up an hour late (I think she claimed it was because of bad directions from the band leader but it was a major hotel in town) so she missed the first dance song which was a male/female duet (Always by Atlantic Starr).  Guess who had to sing the female part.... My very first band I played in, the leader forgot to tell us what the first dance was and had not music or lyrics with him.  This was about 30 minutes before the big dance.  I leave the band stand and call one of my good friends on a payphone to pull together at least one verse of the song.  Explains why I break out into a cold sweat everytime I hear Suddenly by Billy Ocean on the radio. Geez, I miss the '80's......

sid -- 10/07/2004, 01:20:24 -- #7834

All wedding gigs are horrible, without exception.  Also, if you're ever asked to play for the ceremonial dinner at the World Sheepdog Trials, say no - the dogs are trained to attack jazz musicians (I speak from experience).  Finally, an  infallible test to apply when someone books your band: if the client uses the term "jazz music" rather than "jazz", run for cover - the audience will be a lynch mob. sid

Ole -- 10/07/2004, 03:11:40 -- #7837

Doc - Z, er du fra Norge?

Dr. Whack -- 10/07/2004, 08:46:24 -- #7841

weddings and bar mitzvahs are the worst when they have a friend or relative that is gonna "sit in"...oy the stories... Once this babe (friend or relative) comes up to the bandstand with her book of charts and says, "Hi, I'm a singer from L.A." (bfd)  I said, "Hi I'm a piano player from St. Louis" On another gig and old guy came up to sing "It Had To Be You" and that's all he sang: "It had to be you...It had to be you...It had to be you...It had to be you...etc..." (he was a nice guy and it was very funny)

docz -- 10/07/2004, 14:41:37 -- #7853

Yepp :) Doc-Z

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