Being too Controlled
don't you just hate it when for example a guitar player excessively tells you exactly what to play to fit their ideas? i try to comply but it gets negative after a while, 'cause you never know if they're going to be pleased or displeased. often there is no correlation as to what you play & what they say, may as well just flip a coin...
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sounds like a dick. sorry that you have to play with this guy. i hope you're getting paid amply, to make up for the hassle of dealing with a difficult personality; it doesn't sound remotely worth it to me, at whatever price. maybe some lessons from the animal kingdom can underscore without being rude that you don't like being pushed around -- lots of eye contact, upright posture, don't back away when approached. sounds just horrible.
what does he tell you to play? my guitar player never says a thing in our duo unless i ask him for advice, he is very easy going and pleasant. i end up telling him things like "don't walk when i am soloing", lol, or i might say "how about playing the main melody less freely and more on top of the beat" (sometimes he plays sort of like that like spacey bill frisell phrasing)
i'm a very easy-going type of guy, which can sometimes lead to being pushed, i need to watch this. he's moody. it's manageable ; he does have some good ideas, however at times he gets just so picky. he compliments too, saying that was a great solo you played on that song last practice; then we listen to the dat recording of it. however, i can't duplicate my solos as a solo is a very live thing. he critiques my solos which i find makes me tend to "lose courage", i may not like my solos during the performance, but afterwords when i hear them on tape or cd i usually am pleasantly surprised, they sound pretty cool to me. 'reminds me of when i was a waiter and the customer motions me over and says "i want to tell you something..." and i honestly never can tell if it's going to be a compliment or a negative comment on the dish! also the way he comps on the guitar during my solos and the way i comp when he does his solos are two very different things. i don't play the piano like a guitar, although of course i could study guitar voicings as i love guitar and can play, but it ends up taking time away from the piano. when i play pretty much the same comps as last time we played he may not like it anymore, whereas he really liked it before. actually he's a nice guy, but like i said he's moody.
solart. i sympathize. if you don't benefit from playing along with this guitar and you are not concerned about staying friends, then i suggest you or he leave while you're still sane. why do people assume that they know everything? - nobody does!
i think he should not critique your solos, that can be very unnerving and make one feel self conscious. and he should be building you up with positive comments and vice versa. tell him that.
try to ignore his negative comments.
try to ignore his negative comments.
i know a guitarist like that. they are no fun.
good advice jazz+.
it's good to concentrate on the positive; hey, we need to tell this to cnn!
it's good to concentrate on the positive; hey, we need to tell this to cnn!
is he making the comments on a gig or just during practice?
just during practice, thankfully. like i said he's basically a nice guy, i feel he should keep some of his observations more to himself.
i never play "safe" anymore. if someone hires me, i'm going to do my thing because i'm assumming that's why they are hiring me!
If I'm not back in 24 hours, call the president.
Scot is available for skype jazz piano lessons (and google hangouts, phone call, etc...)
Use the contact link at the top of the page.
Scot is available for skype jazz piano lessons (and google hangouts, phone call, etc...)
Use the contact link at the top of the page.
by Scot Ranney on 10/31/2005, 16:50
good point scot.
well, i think i have the opposite of ur situation, anyway, ill post my situation (hope u dont care):
im a very shy guy xd and the piano player, im a salsa lover in a spanish rock band *coughs*, we r a freshly made band with a great variaty of ppl, there r salseros (me) merengueros, heavy rockers, soft rockers, rappers and i brought the blues style to the band too :d, we just r different in style but same in the way we love music... ook then, first of all i always say that i dont know almost nothing about playing piano,in other words that im a begginir begginir ( or however thats spelled) but the guys in the band r always "complementing" me, and that i dont like, i feel embarrased and also dont know if they r just saying it so i can get a bit more self confident or they r saying it because my playing is really good... so, i have my doubts in my playing, and another thing i noticed is that they dont say nothing about how im going to play this or that, so i even get lost some times, and i really want this situations to change but dont know how, i dont know if my playing is good, i know nothing! and also, i dont know too much about chords and all that, im a "ear" player, and that also kind of worry me, and... i dont know what to do... i dont know if this makes sence, but if someone can give me some advices, some "encouragin" words lol, ill really apreciate it...
oh, and leaving those problems alone for a moment, we r composing our own songs, and they asked me to make salsa or latin rythm songs like the song corazon espinado by mana, so, if anyone can give me some advices about how to write the lyrics and choose some latin piano rythms for the song ill really apreciate it.. thnx ... ooh look at that spelling xd x cuse my spelling ...
im a very shy guy xd and the piano player, im a salsa lover in a spanish rock band *coughs*, we r a freshly made band with a great variaty of ppl, there r salseros (me) merengueros, heavy rockers, soft rockers, rappers and i brought the blues style to the band too :d, we just r different in style but same in the way we love music... ook then, first of all i always say that i dont know almost nothing about playing piano,in other words that im a begginir begginir ( or however thats spelled) but the guys in the band r always "complementing" me, and that i dont like, i feel embarrased and also dont know if they r just saying it so i can get a bit more self confident or they r saying it because my playing is really good... so, i have my doubts in my playing, and another thing i noticed is that they dont say nothing about how im going to play this or that, so i even get lost some times, and i really want this situations to change but dont know how, i dont know if my playing is good, i know nothing! and also, i dont know too much about chords and all that, im a "ear" player, and that also kind of worry me, and... i dont know what to do... i dont know if this makes sence, but if someone can give me some advices, some "encouragin" words lol, ill really apreciate it...
oh, and leaving those problems alone for a moment, we r composing our own songs, and they asked me to make salsa or latin rythm songs like the song corazon espinado by mana, so, if anyone can give me some advices about how to write the lyrics and choose some latin piano rythms for the song ill really apreciate it.. thnx ... ooh look at that spelling xd x cuse my spelling ...
don't you just hate it when for example a guitar player excessively tells you exactly what to play to fit their ideas? i try to comply but it gets negative after a while, 'cause you never know if they're going to be pleased or displeased. often there is no correlation as to what you play & what they say, may as well just flip a coin...
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