wow u had a lot to say today my good doctor.  i am glad it lightened up after the alesis quote.  but  you know that subject reall should be addressed sometime i suppose.  but it is not politically correct to address it because to address it i have to
1.) say right upfront i object to being called a fagot, queer or a man that likes to suck other mens dicks
2.) i have to admit that i do not lift heavy weights and build certain muscles that other men build because i do believe that would contrary to what leads to good piano playing.  the best piano technique is always based on the muscles being as loose as possable.
3.)to admit i start wearing winter gloves before anyone else i know or have ever known.
    so ya  people start thinking we are fags.....  what is the solution.... well here is how a few pianists have dealt with it:
1.)jerry lee lewis   screw and marry underage chicks... it will create such a public outcry every one will know  you are screwing females and not boys.  
2.)art tatum, oscar peterson, fats waller and many others....
    obesity.... people equate obesity with the oposite of homosexuality.  queers are percieved as skinny or too vain to be obese.
     then the elton johns come along and dont they just piss you off,
you get interupted by people while you are playing..."don't you wear goofy sunglasses or something while you play?"   "don't you have a queer hat?"... will you play some elton john?
i say fuck no...  i don't suck cock either. even if my hand are smooth and i am not muscular... lets put it this way,,"maybe i got a gun and maybe i don't."  i think thats a line from clint eastwood but a guitar player friend of mine mike dolan used it once when we were in trouble in a pool room after a gig  and you know what, it worked!   these guys that were surely going to beat the crap out of us, backed off after he said that.  i highly reccomend that line.
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Jazz Piano Notebook Series
Scot Ranney's Jazz Piano Notebook, Volume 1 - jazz piano tricks of the trade

Volume 1 of this educational jazz piano book contains 15 jazz piano exercises, tricks, and other interesting jazz piano techniques, voicings, grooves, and ideas Scot Ranney enjoys playing.

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Volume 4 is by Jeff Brent, a jazz pianist, composer, teacher, and author of "Modalogy" and other acclaimed jazz theory and education books. In this book Jeff shares detailed analysis of transcriptions of live performances. He covers everything from the shape of the songs to the tricks and licks he uses in improvised lines to the ideas behind his lush chord voicings.

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