these are just recordings of my practice, so prepare to be disgusted.  i've started experimenting a little with improv lines as far as my fingers can take it.  i'm working on basic concepts, like steady 8ths, keeping the flow going, mixing in triplets, trying to weave in some repetitions, remembering to take breaths.  this is far from what i want to be, but heck, i have to be frank about where i am.  the song's someday my prince will come with changes i got off my textbook. (joy of improv book)  

with band in a box
https://www.ututu.com/~magronbass/otogokoro/071020_01.mp3
just solo, going with my own beat
https://www.ututu.com/~magronbass/otogokoro/071020_03.mp3
with metronome
https://www.ututu.com/~magronbass/otogokoro/071020_05.mp3

personally, it felt like once i could play just by myself and still keep track of what i was playing ("hearing" the original) that seemed to be the most challenging, but most rewarding practice.  i'd appreciate any feedback!
There are 5 comments, leave a comment.
i listened to the first clip and you are on the right track. my advice is that perhaps you are over extending yourself a bit, you are trying to play a lot of notes. at this point i think you should play fewer notes and play, play in a more economical style, say less but with more melodic meaning. play fewer notes and try to aim the resolution of each phrase towards a good note (do, 9th, 5th, 6th). i think maybe you should also practice more at playing swing eights. also i don't hear any of the "+" accent that is fundamental in the dialect of swing, i really miss that in your phrasing.

i think you are consistently dragging your timing in relation to the pulse. you need to tighten up your timing.
i agree with jazz+

i think your choice of note is actually really good. the only thing is i'd play more rests. i think it's ok to rest for a measure or even 2.  

also it lacked accents. all is played with more or less the same intonation. you might want to try to "say as you play". do bah doo bah kinda thing. i'd be curious to hear you re-record with that, i bet it would turn out a lot better.  

disclaimer: i'm just a beginner so don't waste your time on what i say if it doesn't instantly help :-)

i'll listen to the other 2 tracks tomorrow. have fun.
thanx for the feedback!  ya, there are alot of notes.  i was constantly pushing myself to 'keep playing' so i could internalize a steady flow of 8ths.  i should probably practice as a separate thing, to tighten up my timing.  i think the key to better rests are more proper phrases that actually start, head somewhere, and stops when that is achieved.  i right now it's kind like, "i need to kick or else i'll sink".

the accents i definitely need to work on.  it's great to get feed back else i'm pretty much in the dark aside from my lessons.  i've got no connection to jazz people.  and i'm in ny!  maybe i need to try harder.
not bad... someday is a really hard tune to get flowing on (for me anyway) - maybe try doing a piece in 4/4
i vote for the metronome version.  i thought your lines were more fluid than the other versions.  now all you need to do is subtract the click track.
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