greetings to all my fellow jazz enthusiasts,  my name is ryan stubhill, i have been a pro musician for many many years now and after playing so much music - especially jazz - i have developed a new jazz style.

i call it 'jihadibop'.  pronounced ji-had-he-bop.  now i know that most of you will not be convinced by my discovery but i know i am onto something.  my friends, how exiting to think that we as a community could be the pioneers of a new jazz movement.  

let me explain the theory behind this new form of jazz.  by taking a chord you can break it down into different tones made up of harmonics.  by holding down the keys on a piano for example and playing all the notes in a chord you can (as im sure you know) hear the notes in that key resonating as if you had the sustain pedal down - something that cannot be achieved on a keyboard i might add!  

if we take the chord of f major 7 and superimpose a db major triad over it we get f major sharp 9 flat 13, now if we are to then do the same with a c major triad and invert it to 2nd inversion and add a bb triad to the mix we get a chord that is the kind of sound that characterizes jihadibop.  being a muslim man this is where it counts.  the jihad is a constant reminder of death and risen music to the people of mohammed.  now just to clarify allow the following to take place...

treat the following chord as a 2 chord in a traditional jazz chord sequence.  take c major 9 and add an ab major 9 chord to the top of it.  ah-ha!  you have just played your first jihadibop chord.  now the following chord in a common jihadbop chord sequence (rather like the 5 following the 2 in a common jazz sequence) is the subdominant of the '2' chord we have just played.  fmajor7 with a d major chord over the top and this now moves us onto our final chord which is going to be emajor7sharp9.  

and there you have it, to solo is simpe, take each chord as a singular not in a sequence or part of a mode and allow your mind to free itself from modes and scales, the most effective soloing comes from the spirit, but as a little trick i like to solo using the scale of the chord that is superimposed over the main chord.  

what do you think fellow jazzmen, many of my friends don't really understand it, but when they do, they all tell me that they can't stop exploring my new style!!!

best wishes and my greatest blessings to you all,

There are 37 comments, leave a comment.
jazz is a truly american art form.  invented by americans who liked to drink heavily while hanging out in and often playing the music the they invented in whore houses.  although they were also often god fearing men who were well versed in the bible and who masters of a form of gospel music,  i can not think of a type of music less consistent or apropriate for jihadists or muslims as i understand them.  
allah is great, so are major 7 chords with an occasional sharp 11 added to them and an even less frequent and more expertly applied augmented 5th.
scot could you delete my post?  i would rather i did not say what i said.
"greetings to all my fellow jazz enthusiasts,  my name is ryan stubhill, i have been a pro musician for many many years now and after playing so much music - especially jazz - i have developed a new jazz style."

would you tell us any factual background on youself, like where you play or have played, where you live or have lived, what you have recorded etc. i did a google search on you name and came up with nothing ???  your post on this forum is one of the most egotisical,  jihadist, nut thinking that i ever read, or maybe i am very bady mistaken ???  please let me know that i am seeing you all wrong !!

by the way,

  i would also be interested to know if you agree that naming a teddy bear mohammed is a crime ????
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
allah akbar
actually i was entirely forgetting that muslims can be entirely credited with the invention of using modes in jazz before miles davis even.  they were intoduced with .. yes i am sure you will remember when i tell you now... "allah mode" .
never in my life have i come across such racism.  i think that you will find that ryan is not my real name for i wish to have a personal life.  

aside the radical comments from mike and some of you other racist americans, i will now explain my background.

i was born in uzbekistan, 1957.  i moved to columbia where i learnt the coon - an exotic instrument from south america, now commonly known as the charango.  upon moving again to mexico my parents also bought me my first piano, and the rest is history.  

at 21 i was md of the mexico dune band, an exotic mix of young and old musicians.  i moved to england and became md of the broadway show 42nd street, but in london in the west end.  i then moved onto mding the west end production of 'guys and dolls'.  at this point i moved into tv work and became an arranger for the bbc big band.  

to name a few big names, and i have to be careful, i have helped arrange music for the likes of diana krall, michael buble, and not to mention a smaller artists such as stacey kent and of jane monheit.  i fixed the band for the live tour she did a couple of years ago.  

now i have justified my name please can we take this to a new level i would love to develop this but with out your help it will not be, i can only do so much alone.  

i hope this helps, please enough of the racism and lets work in harmony!!

many thanks for you reading of this,


you will have to excuse everyone, but your original post did sound kind of nutty to everyone.  not in a million years did the people think on this forum that a devout muslim would choose a name like "jihadibop".  to most of our ears, that sounds like something that would be making fun of muslims.  

as far as racism, i just don't see it.  saying things like "allah mode" is just making a pun on the muslim word for god, but americans make puns on all words.  there is nothing offensive in a good pun, even if it involves the sacred and divine.  

if doing something like that is offensive to muslims, you will have to remember that this is a forum based in america, and so the rules of etiquette here are fundamentally american, which means any pun goes.
ryan (or whomever you are:)

for what it's worth, i felt the term "jihadibop" was an attempt at a racist joke, which is why i avoided replying.  i can only assume that others thought your post was a joke and replied accordingly.

secondly if you were in fact creating a "new style" then it would be just that; a new style.  it is not any form of jazz.

thirdly, i didn't dig the sound of those chords :)

fourthly, my hat's off to you, you prankster :)
"many of my friends don't really understand it, but when they do, they all tell me that they can't stop exploring my new style!!!"

well, that just about says it all my friend.
'ryan', honestly, what is this thread about??  it's so random and out of the blues, i don't get it.  i, like everyone else here, thought it was a big joke.  now, i realize you're all serious about doesn't make sense.

i mean, "jihadibop"?!  you can't be serious.  that's jihadiculous.
i sure would like to hear a recording with your new form of jazz... i know the feeling when you think you have discovered something new. i have a few times,,, and later discovered that it was allready invented...
greg symsen says he has heard you play a few times, and says you've got "monster jihadibopchops".  

that says it all.
filthy american pig that i am ... i now am finding i can not rest until i hear a ji-had-he-bop version of the rhapsody in blue.
allah akbar.
to do all the work for you so that you can later take all the credit for the invention of a new art form.

why are you asking the members of learnjazzpiano for help, when you should, in fact, be asking your friends diana krall, michael buble, stacey kent, jane monheit, your west end producers, all the tv bigwigs that you've schmoozed and the bbc for their endorsements?

surely they are more influential in the musical world than the "b list" performers that frequent this website.

in any case promoting a jihad (muslim holy war) is against my beliefs.

if circumstances were different, i would gladly help you if it wasn't for my firm conviction that you are a truly a world-class asshole.
uh don't you people know when somebody is pulling your leg? now lets let this thread fade away.
oh not yet,  i think there may be a little more fun to be had.
  7  lol  you have me crakin up there!!!   i love that name... "holy war music"better copyright that or i am going to steal it and i wont need help creating the music.  i think i can make a fortune creating it and getting it played on all the political tv shows.  i love the sound of that name.  i think you really have someting there... much better than jihad bop.  makes me want to go strap some bombs on to myself and go blow myself and some innocent people up.
allah akbar.
you are right, jazz+!

i invented myself the ''budpop'', based essentially on untasteful lines.

it is so weird that i can't understand it myself...

i will let the musicologists decide...
okay okay, rid got it, im greg symsens wife, or better known as antijv!!

i had researched everything except the word 'jihad'.  i had no idea that it meant holy war, lol!!!!  many thanks for playing along

anti jv  

p.s, the biggest clue was in my name...... 'stubhill' is an anagram of bullshit!!!  

may allah be with you my friends, im off to speak to wind up another forum...
the fact that this was obviously a hoax from the get-go does not alter the fact that it was wrong to mock islam on this forum.

it was wrong to call people racists. it was wrong to promote war, it was wrong to coax people to make intolerant remarks about religion which incite hatred on both sides.

there was nothing remotely humorous about this thread.  

whatever the author's name may be: jv, symsen or stubhill. he is an asshole.

get a life, asshole.

oh, and leave comedy to the professionals.
threads like this make me regret i visit this forum.

people like you make me love this forum.
i've been out of town for a few days and haven't had a chance to be a policeman here until now.  however, the only problem i can see is one of bad taste, and i'm not here to police bad taste.

personally, i couldn't care less about bad taste.  the thing about forums, and life in general, is that in most cases bad taste speaks for itself, like it does in this thread.
If I'm not back in 24 hours, call the president.

Scot is available for skype jazz piano lessons (and google hangouts, phone call, etc...)
Use the contact link at the top of the page.
oh come on, wheres your sense of humor?!  you lot were the ones who were mocking islam not me!!  there is no bad taste here, just pure genius!  at least i owned up to it, i could have just slipped away.  if you can't laugh at such awful things then you clearly all live very sad lives.  

7, you get a life asshole no need to be so rude, just a bit of light entertainment to encourage all the good work that goes on on this site!  how can you all be so stupid as to say im the one with bad taste and the one who's wrong when it was all of you lot who came out with these awful remarks!!  it might be bad taste but you have to admit, it did make you smile!!

much love

i have already admited it was i who was wrong in the thread.  i admited it right after m first post.  i admited it again when while i called myself a pig.  i admit again now while i say i enjoy being wrong,  it is an element of my style and i would not be me without it.

thanks for saying 'i couldn't care less'..rather than the more commonly seen recently bastardized 'i could care less' which really makes no sense at all.
lol good point casp
this thread has been sooooooooooooo

unpleasant, juvenile, pointless, unfunny, in fact, a total waste of space and time.  

whilst accepting that sites do lose focus from time to time, there's still many really useful and entertaining threads here with much good advice, i hope it will stay that way. i'd miss it in the 'musical' part of my life. let's have no more of this garbage anti jv please. gigo still holds good.
as an observer to this i can only say it raised a smile.  

i'd call it black comedy in the tradition of peter cook, leslie nielson, sasha baron cohen etc.
antijv - i'd suggest lying low for a few threads until the storm blows over... hehe
antijv, the word jihad  and it's implications are a highly, highly polarizing thing within the muslim world and without. to use it as a joke and not know what you are talking about is kind of like using "white power" in a joke, and not being aware of it's offensiveness.

ok, so the guys who did "team america: world police" were able to pull off making a joke of jihad, because they understood the absurdity of the culture they were making fun of. it is totally absurd, most muslims realize that, but would rather not be reminded of it. your joke was that you had reinvented jazz, ok, ha ha, but "jihad" is a highly charged word, and the only way i can imagine that you would not know that is if you have been living somewhere under a rock, maybe in a cave, for the last ten years.
now it sounds like y'all are askin me to take this conversation seriously... pleeeaaase.
allah akbar
was ignored. yes ryan whoever he is made the mistake of a distasteful name, but please see through that.  
i have tried out the chords he made and they are brilliant.
dont let this fizzle out because of a bad joke.

okay i do apologise for using the word jihad, due to my ignorance i had no idea that it meant holy war which is very foolish of me, and if i had known what it had meant and not just accepted it as a joke from team america:world police then i would definatley not have used it, so that i apologise for, poor joke on my part, but im sure you have to agree the theme of the thread made you smile at least.

p.s thanks noel, i hope that my, um lets call them, 'akbar chords' in dedication to mike for taking this post with the spirit in which it was intended.  allah akbar to you my friend.
ok, sounds like everyone has kissed and made up which means any further additions to this thread will be censored, no matter what they are. if you'd like to discuss art noel's transcription, please create a new thread for it.

If I'm not back in 24 hours, call the president.

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